My fertility journey began in 2018. We had our first appointment with a fertility doctor on December 26, 2018, and were diagnosed with male factor infertility due to a failed vasectomy reversal. IVF became our only path to parenthood.
Over the next few years, at multiple clinics, with multiple doctors, I went through three egg retrievals, six IUIs, five transfers, and endured four heartbreaking losses. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Endometriosis that we finally had an answer. I underwent excision surgery to give us the best chance at success.In August 2024, I had my final retrieval at Markham Fertility Center with Dr.Garcia, followed by a fresh transfer on September 4. Five days later, on September 9, I saw the two pink lines and on Oct 1st saw the heartbeat we had been dreaming of for so long, our final attempt had worked.
I’m now pregnant with a healthy baby boy, and while the road here was anything but easy, every step led us to this incredible moment.
The mental load was overwhelming, IVF, infertility, and the dream of becoming a mom consumed every part of my life. I became so obsessed that it wasn’t healthy for me, mentally or emotionally. I felt isolated, pushing away those who didn’t understand. But finding a community on Instagram, people who truly got it, helped me feel seen, supported, and a little less alone.
I was shocked by how insensitive people can be, how easily they dismiss the losses I’ve been through, as if they never happened. I learned the hard way that effort doesn’t always equal outcome, no matter how much you want it. But the biggest surprise? Discovering, after years of struggling, that I had endometriosis. I had no idea it was affecting me daily, yet it played such a huge role in my journey.
In the beginning, I saw infertility as a battle I had to fight, a problem to fix, a journey with a clear destination. But over time, I’ve learned that it’s so much more than that. It’s resilience. It’s heartbreak and hope, grief and growth, all woven together. I’ve come to understand that my worth isn’t defined by this journey, and neither is my strength.But through it all, one thing has never changed, Tom. It was never me against infertility; it was always us against the problem. No matter how hard it got, no matter how many times we felt defeated, we faced it together. And that, meant everything to me.
My Fertility Doula, Jessica, was an absolute lifeline, her knowledge, support, and guidance made such a difference in navigating the hardest moments. And then there’s this incredible online community, people who just get it without needing an explanation. Their stories, support, and shared strength reminded me that I was never truly alone in this journey.
I wish I had truly understood just how long this journey would be and everything it would demand from me, physically, emotionally, and mentally. We started in 2018, and now we’re finally expecting our son’s arrival in 2026. If I had known from the start, I would still choose to go through it all again, no question. But I think I would have carried the hardship differently, with a little more grace for myself. Then again, no one has a crystal ball, you just keep going, step by step, fueled by hope.
Absolutely not, I wish I did. I had to learn everything on my own, researching every step, every option, every possibility. It was exhausting, mentally and emotionally. That’s why I love MyStoria and its online platform. It’s the kind of resource I wish I had from the start, and I know it’s going to be a game-changer for so many people navigating this journey. No one should have to fight for answers alone.
Absolutely, there were multiple times I had to trust my instincts and advocate for myself, even when it meant going against the norm. Switching clinics was a huge decision, and after so much trial and error, we finally found Markham Fertility Centre, where they offered immune testing and treatment, something we desperately needed. Dr. Garcia truly listened to Tom and me, making us feel heard, valued, and empowered to make the right choices for our journey. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.
If you're just beginning your fertility journey, remember this: You are your own best advocate. No one knows your body, your dreams, and your limits better than you. Ask questions, seek second opinions, and never be afraid to push for the care you deserve. This path can be overwhelming, but you are strong, resilient, and worthy of answers. Trust yourself, lean on your support system, and know that your voice matters every step of the way.
I dream of a future where fertility care is proactive, not reactive, where advanced testing is the standard from the start, sparing so many from the heartache of trial and error. A future where every clinic offers the same compassionate, thorough care, ensuring no one feels overlooked or unheard. Because everyone on this journey deserves the best chance at their dream.
I hope for a world where infertility isn’t whispered about in shame but openly discussed, allowing people to seek the support and care they deserve without fear or isolation.
It’s okay to not be okay. This journey is tough, and you don’t have to carry it all alone. Give yourself grace, hold onto hope in your own way, and know that you are never alone in this.
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