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May 18, 2026
Ureaplasma: The Infertility Bacteria Nobody Taught You About
Most people have never heard of ureaplasma. That's not because it's rare. It's because nobody told them about it. Ureaplasma species have been isolated...
Choosing the right fertility clinic is one of the most important—and sometimes overwhelming—decisions you'll make on your journey. We've been there, and we get it. It can feel like there are a million questions to ask, a thousand decisions to make, and a whole lot of emotions along the way.
Walking into consultations prepared—with a clear understanding of the fertility process, your symptoms, medical history, and diagnosis—helps you take charge and make the most of every conversation. This isn't about just finding any clinic; it's about finding the one that will walk this journey with you and care about your outcome as much as you do.
The truth is, not every clinic or doctor is created equal. It's important to research your options (success rates, pricing, reviews) and find a clinic and care provider that will address your unique needs and make you feel confident.
It might feel like this is something the clinic should do for you, and in an ideal world, they would—but trust us, you'll need to advocate for yourself. Starting with a solid foundation of knowledge not only gives you confidence but also sets the tone for your relationship with the clinic. You'll find it incredibly useful as you navigate the process and advocate for the care you deserve.
This might feel daunting, but it's so worth it. Here's a personal example:
My first clinic didn't have access to records from when I was 23. If they had, they would have seen an endometrioma on a report, which is essentially a diagnosis of endometriosis. That diagnosis could have saved me eight years and multiple failed cycles - who knows. A personalized approach to your fertility plan based on root cause diagnosis is so important. The lesson? Get those records and understand them (or get help from Carly to do). Even if you think they're not important, they might hold the key to answers.
Whether it's your egg reserve, sperm quality, uterine health, or something else, take time to understand what's happening in your body. Pay attention to symptoms, patterns, and what you're noticing. The more you understand, the more tailored your questions will be, and the more productive those consultations can become.
The person most knowledgeable about what's going on with you is you, and the right doctor will take the time to hear you, understand what you're noticing and appreciate that you are playing an active role in your care and decision making. You'll feel better too.
It can feel intimidating, but don't hold back. You're investing your time, money, and hope into this process, and you deserve clear answers. Take the time you need, and don't hesitate to dig deeper if something doesn't sit right with you. The good doctors will welcome this, and respect it.
The below is pulled together from personal experience, the journeys of others we've connected with, and advice from experts in the field (our Head of Concierge Carly, our Medical Advisory Board, and others). These are the questions we wish we had known to ask from the beginning.
Note: If you're similar to me and want to know the way behind asking these questions + what you may be hoping to hear coming out of it. I would totally recommend booking an appointment with Carly to walk through it all OR recording the call and reviewing it with her after.
From my experience—both as a patient and someone familiar with the healthcare system—there's often an unspoken power dynamic between patients and doctors. It's easy to feel intimidated or hesitant to speak up, but remember: you are not just a patient; you are a customer. You deserve to feel empowered, respected, and confident in your care.
Here are some affirmations to help neutralize that power dynamic and remind yourself of your worth:
There's so much information to take in during consultations, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed. You have every right to record your appointments—whether they're in-person or virtual. Listening back later can help you process details, catch anything you missed, and better plan your next steps.
It's completely normal to leave an appointment and realize you forgot to ask something important. Don't hesitate to send follow-up questions. Good clinics will welcome the chance to clarify and provide additional information.
"This journey can be challenging, but never forget your worth. You deserve a clinic and a care team that prioritize your needs, listen to your concerns, and genuinely want to help you succeed. You are investing not just your money, but your time, energy, and hope—and you have every right to demand exceptional care." Cheryl Dowling, The IVF Warrior and myStoria team member
At myStoria, we understand the weight of navigating the fertility journey—it's complicated, emotional, and often overwhelming. That's why we've built a platform designed to take some of that burden off your shoulders. Here's how we can support you:
Fertility Education and Advocacy: Understanding your body and your options is empowering. myStoria provides a comprehensive self-reviewed Fertility Health Assessment (learn, answer a question) to help you level up your ability to advocate and get all your thoughts and concerns down in one place.
We'll Gather, Store, and Organize Your Medical Records: Tracking down old records, organizing them, and making sense of what they mean shouldn't be your responsibility alone. myStoria can request and securely store your medical records for you, organize them in a clear and accessible way, and even help you identify critical details you may not have realized were important.
Support for Clinic Consultations: Heading into a consultation? We'll help you prepare by reviewing your records, highlighting important details, and tailoring questions to your unique situation. After your appointment, our Concierge Team can review recordings or notes with you to ensure nothing is missed., and help you identify which questions are relevant to your situation.
Community and Connection: You're not alone. Through our platform, you can connect with others who have been where you are—people who truly understand. Whether you need advice, encouragement, or just someone to listen, we've got you covered.
This article is also available as a downloadable and printable PDF file. Download Fertility 101: What to Ask And How to Advocate now!
You deserve the best care—and the confidence to make the right decisions for your journey.
Cheryl Dowling is a leader in mental and reproductive health, known for translating lived experience into meaningful change across research, care, and innovation. She is the founder of The IVF Warrior and the bestselling author of Unspoken: The Unbearable Weight of Infertility.
